Vagina Whisperer: How to Love Your Vagina Just the Way it is
Before we talk about vagina self-esteem, let’s play a game where you have a total of 50 points at the beginning. I have a list of 5 questions and if you have ever done something stated in the question, you lose 10 points.
Here we go:
- Have you ever worried about the complexion of your inner thighs?
- Did ever use vagina tighteners?
- Have you ever steamed your vagina?
- Did you ever try to make your vagina smell good?
- Have you ever had thoughts that you pee from your vagina?
How many points do you have left? If you have none left, chances are that you have vaginal insecurities.
Vagina self-esteem is simply how much value you place on your vagina. It means having positive regard for your female genital part. Growing up many women battle with genital dissatisfaction due to cultivation effects, which is the constant exposure to a certain representation of a subject till it subconsciously becomes our reality. In this case, “designer vagina”.
What is designer vagina? It is a cosmetic procedure to make the vagina aesthetically pleasing to the eyes. Over time, we have seen vaginas free of bumps, hyperpigmentation, vaginas with pinkish and small labias that we think pigmented vaginas do not exist or having bumps means you are dirty.
How leaving your pubic hair became a taboo; becoming properly lubricated meant you were a slut who must have had sex with a lot of people that’s why the penis penetrated easily. All that was supposed to be normal and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of became a source of insecurities.
Low vaginal self-esteem does not only take a toll on our overall self-worth, it affects us in more ways than we can imagine. It could be the reason that you haven’t experienced an orgasm yet, since women who have low vagina self-esteem find it more challenging to reach an orgasm. This is because our sexuality is an expression of how we feel about ourselves and sexuality isn’t limited to physical factors; it comprises other factors such as emotional, mental, cultural and interpersonal aspects.
Raising vagina self-esteem
The amazing part is that vagina self-esteem can be worked on; here are some tips to help you improve your vagina self-esteem.
Observe your insecurities
Insecurities make us feel inferior and tamper with our self-esteem. The same thing applies to the vagina; observe what makes you feel so bad about your vagina. This is the first and most important step to improve your vagina self-esteem.
Most information that makes us feel bad about our vaginas is either incorrect or false. For example, things like your vagina has to smell nice or that it should look uniformed at all times. You have to unlearn every piece of such knowledge. A major trick to unlearning is to write down everything you think you know about your vagina and then verify that information. Visit trusted websites, read books and ask experts to see if your information is correct.
After confirming and rejecting your previous incorrect knowledge, begin to learn new information about your vagina. Many reliable sources with medically-accurate information about healthy vaginas are available on the internet.
Having a positive vagina image and talking about it with other has a very empowering effect. This further boosts your self-esteem. By doing this, you are not only enhancing your positive thoughts but also informing others about vagina self-esteem.
Take your time and follow these tips. And then take the quiz again. I am sure you will not lose any points, any more.
This article is part of our Vagina Whisperer series. You can read the first part here.
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About the author: Amos Sanasi is a demographer, sexologist and the founder of Nigeria’s first sex-positive brand Revaginate NG which disseminates comprehensive sex information and sexual accessories, especially for those with disabilities. She tweets at @thesanasi.