“In a world where you can be anything, be sexy”
Yeah, I know, you’re probably rolling your eyes at me right now, but give me a chance to offer a little background.
Mainstream media and our socialization plays a big part in how we define what looks good in our eyes. I grew up watching music videos starring petite video vixens. I also watched many cartoons and shows where the main female characters had wasp-thin waistlines, never-ending legs, and plump red lips.
Think Lola Bunny from Looney Tunes, Gwen Tennyson from Ben 10, Princess Jasmine from Aladdin, or the secretary from Power Puff Girls. Even the She-Hulk and Suki, Princess Azula, and Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender had impossible waists. I mean, the standards were high even before I had standards, so forgive me for thinking then that being sexy had everything to do with the shape of my body, or how much deep red lipstick I smothered on my black lips.
Years later, as an adult, someone told me, “you’re so sexy” and I couldn’t keep calm. I mean, what? It would’ve been a simple comment for anyone else, but that got me thinking. What was it about me that made me sexy? For reference, I’m a plus-size girl who would be happy to live without heels, and it doesn’t matter whether or not my dress is on trend.
Over the years, I’ve discovered that authentic sexiness has nothing to do with how my body looks, or how many waves I have in my hair. It has everything to do with how I approach the world and feel about myself. Here’s what I have learnt so far about how to be sexy.
To Be Sexy, Be Confident
Confidence is a highly attractive quality in a person. When you’re self-assured, you look comfortable in your skill and your abilities. This alone is incredibly attractive to other people. But, don’t get me wrong, confidence has nothing to do with walking with your chin held high. Instead, it’s about believing in who you are and knowing that you can use an inner charm to impress other people. Building confidence involves taking care of your mind and understanding what you can or can’t do. Sell the best parts of yourself- yes, even your broad hips. Know your selling point and capitalize it.
As I mentioned earlier, you need to take care of your mind. Read a book on a topic you like or do mental exercises to improve your mental capacity. Being sharp is sexy and bookworms are attractive. The truth is that learning is sexy because how else will you contribute to conversations at whatever tables you sit at? What’s more, learning and showing what you’ve learnt is a great way of showing those around you that you have depth.
Work on Your Sociability
Listen, people who can maneuver around different social situations are sexy! How you behave when you’re around other people will determine your sex appeal and how other people find you attractive. People want to be around those they would feel most comfortable with so working on your personality and your attitude towards other people and ideas will get you to the sexy platform sooner than you think.
Work on Your Value
Over the years, I’ve learnt that being sexy has everything to do with how much value you place in yourself and how much value other people see in you. Think about yourself for a minute. Are you kind, are you thorough, do you take care of yourself and ensure you keep growing? All these values show that you have self-respect and place a high value on yourself. Once you start working on these qualities, you will start to feel sexy and automatically radiate it all around you!
Being sexy is in your hands now.
I know that we mostly ascribe sexiness to being more physical in nature. However, the moment we attribute it to deeper aspects of who we are, the more value we will see in ourselves and others. This isn’t to say that our looks or even how we dress don’t matter. They do, but only if we give precedence to who we are inside.
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